I’ve been absolutely loving the new role that I’ve recently taken on in our business. The coaching I’ve been doing as part of our Soul Led CEO program (you can check out the details here >>), connecting with our incredible clients on Voxer and running all the sales conversations for those that are interested in joining our community has been so much fun!

And for those of you that don’t know, we actually run all our sales conversations on FB Messenger. That is, anyone that’s interested clicks on a link and they immediately get details from Jess’ business page messenger on how the Soul Led CEO works and then I get to personally follow up and answer any questions. It’s just an amazing opportunity to connect with so many people that have such a like-minded approach and are just looking for some help in streamlining what they do.

However, since it’s all connected to Jess’ FB business page messenger link, I also get a really… interesting… perspective on all kinds of additional messages that she receives in her inbox.

Unsolicited messages from guys all over the world with inappropriate come-ons and advances, direct requests for pictures, MF-ing marriage proposals. 

Guys – what are we doing???

Quite honestly, in a lot of ways, Jess and I just have to laugh about it. Many of the proposals come from young men in countries in Africa who maybe just haven’t gotten the opportunity to benefit from an education of certain conduct. Now, I’m not trying to make a gross generalization here, but the evidence seems to stand on its own. And because we’re running a global business and we have advertising all over the world, it’s understandable that some of the ads may end up in front of the wrong faces.

But that’s not to say that many of the messages aren’t also coming from more local sources too. Yesterday, we received a message from a guy that was quite forward and requesting to have a ‘sexy chat’. I promptly blocked him (or so I thought) and deleted the message, only to find another message last night requesting a ‘sexy photo’. SMDH.

Cool man, now you’re starting to really fire me up. So much of me wanted to chime in and level with him about who was actually reading his buffoonery of messages. But I didn’t. Because getting into it with a knucklehead internet troll who’s lonely in his parent’s basement is not worth my time, my energy and is clearly against everything I stand for anyway. (Sorry… I’m making another assumption – something I try not to do. But some people…. GEEZ). So I left it there for our amazing social media manager to handle, since I didn’t block him correctly in the first place. 

All this is to say…. Or to ask, rather… This is really a thing?? Why do you boys think this is an okay tactic to take?  

And clearly, the unfortunate answer is, yeah… it is a thing. It’s still a thing. It’s a damn thing that guys think it’s ok to make weird, uncomfortable, rude, creepy, distasteful, gross advances towards women. Everywhere. Online, in person, it doesn’t seem to matter. It still happens. 

It’s still a huge reason why I started the Modern Day Gentleman. 

And it’s unfortunately likely to remain a reason why I get to continue to create content and have ideas fall into my lap(top).

I see this kind of stuff first hand and my gut reaction is to sneer. It’s so freaking awkward.

Look, I get it. When you’re single, there are still certain tactics one has got to take in order to try to make a connection with the opposite sex. I’ve had the benefit of not having to do so in quite some time — essentially a whole different time from where we’re at in society at this point. And I was pretty damn bad at it back then. But, I also recognize that part of the reason I was pretty bad at it was because I was self-aware enough to notice those weird and cringe-worthy pick-up attempts at bars.

Yet – as bad as I may have been at it – I still found Her. And it wasn’t because I tried the creepy and trashy tactics that have gotten a lot of men into a lot of trouble recently. 

It’s called being genuine. Being honest. Being real. 

Believe it or not, it is actually possible to make a connection with someone of the opposite sex without trying to send a dick pic or unsolicitedly trying to have ‘sexy talk’ on FB Messenger. 

All you have to do is act like a damn human being. Talk to someone without immediately having ulterior motives. Don’t be a creeper. 

It’s really not that hard. 

And even though, I’m betting that if you’re reading this, you’re probably not one of them – you might know one of them. So mentioning something like that to them may not hurt… and the more this gets passed on, the more our reputation is going to start improving. That’d be kind of nice. Because I’m getting pretty sick of the current pattern. Maybe you are too?

Good talk….