It turns out that I may be living a lie.
I may have been doing this whole life thing backwards.
I was pointed towards a very cool resource this weekend from one of our amazing Inner Circle women at our retreat in Rancho Palos Verdes this week that has completely shifted (and quite frankly, slapped me across the face with a boisterous, ‘DUH – you knew that already’) how I’ve started to think about my personality traits.
It’s called the Human Design System – at mybodygraph.com – and it is essentially a user manual for your body, based on when (date and exact time of day) and where you were born. Now, bare with me here… I know it sounds a little much, a little far-fetched. But I want to share a little about what it said with the information I provided. (And to be clear, there is a LOT of information that the Human Design System provides, this is just a glimpse)
“The only way for your energy to emerge is to follow your strategy of waiting to respond. Because it is only in responding that you know what you have the energy for, it is essential for you to wait to respond to what life brings you before making decisions.”
Now, we’ve spoken a lot – both on the Conscious Life Podcast episodes and in my own Posts – around how Jess and I utilize our ability to respond (or – our responsibility) versus the reactionary measures that we witness to be more commonly taken – an impulsive reply that removes the conscious action and energy from a situation.
And as it turns out, my natural state is actually to embrace that ability to respond. Allow the exterior possibilities and opportunities to come to me and then I get to respond.
My unnatural tendency is to pull and attempt to corral the topics I think I should talk about – things I think I’m supposed to write on. Which ultimately only drains my energy and leaves me a state of frustration and angst because my mind isn’t working the way I think it should.
There sure are a lot of shoulds and supposed-tos in that last sentence.
(Which are already bad words in our household)
I’ve always known what I was comfortable with – what my personalityindicated was most instinctive to me. But there are often moments where I would fight it, tell myself I should be different, affirm to myself that – I can change those natural tendencies to be something different.
Maybe this is permission I needed. The confirmation I required to be able to step into to reach my next level.
It seems a little silly typing that and reading it back… that I needed confirmation to be me. As if I needed to read something that told me what my personality traits are. Just because I put my birthday, time and city into a website and it spit out the results.
But it was fucking Spot On.
Which I have to think probably means that we’re all forcing something a bit. We’re trying to be someone that’s completely uncomfortable to our purest version of self. Act like someone instead of being someone.
Acting versus Being.
In some ways, couldn’t this even contribute to such a form of self-agony that we drive ourselves into such a constant state of insecurity that we no longer even know how to handle our own mind?
It’s like the stories you hear of actors/actresses that put themselves so far deep into a role that it’s hard for them to return back to their day-to-day mental state. Except in this case, it’s trying to just live our everyday lives (or then again… maybe it’s exactly the same for the actors).
Now, at the same time, I’m not succumbing to the fact that this is just how I am so this is it. I’m just using it as a guideline that says, “Yeah, it’s ok to be this way… you don’t have to try so hard.” And also, I know there are ways that I am meant to grow and expand. It’s a balance between the two. But by giving myself permission to utilize the way I naturally expend energy, it then gives me the choice to explore the ways I’m really inspired to expand, ya know?
So…. You be You. It’s totally fine and everyone else will honor that. And if you’d like more info on how I found out about this, please hit me up. Let’s chat!
You got this…
