I’m pretty sure we’ve all been taught that discussing our money situation in public is a no-no.

A true gentleman never discusses his financial situation.

And yeah, for the most part, we probably don’t want to hear the guy walking down the street talking loudly on his cell phone to his financial advisor about what’s in his bank account for all nearby to hear. Ok, for the life of me I can’t really think of that actually happening to me… maybe it’s a New York/big city kinda thing. Also, I may just totally be making that up.

But even if that’s a theoretical situation, isn’t that kind of the reason as to why that saying exists?

What I do experience on the regular, however, is the complete opposite. Words of lack and scarcity. Trying to use being a member in the mutual brotherhood of brokeness as a means to connect with others. 

I’ve actually had random strangers come up to me and start talking to me about how something is too expensive, or, ‘I’d never pay that much for ___,’ or one of my favorites, ‘must be nice…’ 

I’m sorry, do I know you? And I mean this with all the love in the world… truly and honestly… but what about my presence before you indicated that I would like to take part in a conversation about what we lack, regardless of it’s financially-based or otherwise?

Another example… Jess and I like to sit at the bar at restaurants when we go out to dinner. Which means we’re in close proximity of others. And I’ve heard men spout those kind of words to his date. Now, ladies, I’m only guessing here but I’m going to bet that hearing about lack mentality from a man that’s courting you is probably not exactly the highest of turn-ons.

All this may sound a little harsh, and it may be triggering a little. And if it is, then good. Again, with love. Really.

Stop using your fear of having money, or your pride of believing you don’t have any, as a badge of honor.

I’m not going to hide that I have gotten to experience some pretty damn cool things over the last several years. But it wasn’t always necessarily this way and I spent essentially all of my twenties roaming through a variety of jobs solely to make sure I made enough. Just enough. They weren’t inspiring jobs – I just showed up, did what I was supposed to do, and left all that at the office, restaurant, whatever. 

But of course I always had other aspirations. I knew I was headed somewhere else. It’s why I didn’t just get attached to an occupation that didn’t fulfill me. And because of it, I sure as hell wasn’t going to let a lot of words based in lack mentality come out of my mouth just to try to connect with someone. Because they likely aren’t the ones I’m trying to connect with anyway.  

Instead I spent a lot of my time soaking up words of inspiration, of hope, of motivation. Thoughts Become Things, The Secret, The School of Greatness podcasts… conversations and readings that, even if I may not have been in my best physical or mental state in that moment, still brought me into a stronger positive mindset that I would walk with my head high, knowing for an absolute certainty that I was going to continue to grow, expand and create more for myself. 

A gentleman may never speak about his finances. But I sure as hell would rather hear about how fucking awesome you are and all the cool stuff that you’ve experienced than hear about all the reasons why you can’t (note – but not in a way where you’re trying to impress me. Be real and sincere – genuinely excited about all the cool shit that’s come up for you).

I’m not interested in what’s lacking. Give me your Awesome. 

And then we can talk.

Stop using your fear of having money as a badge of honor