Given the amount of time that Jess and I get to spend together – work and play – I consider us to be incredibly fortunate for the fact that if something occurs that may totally affect the energy field of one of us, we get to have the other to express our emotions and frustrations. It’s almost like we just have someone on standby that gives either of us the opportunity to vent a little if necessary and bring us back into our aligned state.

But what happens when we need to vent – utilize that emotional support system – at the same exact time?

Last weekend we were in the car (stuck in Sunday afternoon mountain traffic… adding another variable to the test) when Jess started receiving messages from our social media badass about multiple (MULTIPLE) blatant copyright infringements on her website and FB material. Whew, were the expletives flying. I could only do so much to make sure this woman’s name didn’t get plastered EVERYWHERE before we had a chance to take the necessary respectfully lawful measures first, though clearly recognizing that the lack of respect she carried in her uncreative tactics.

However, shortly thereafter, I began to come to a realization that I didn’t know where one of our band members were (we were driving to an afternoon show at that time) and had not heard from him in over a day. And his phone was dead.

So a multitude of thoughts started running through my head…
Did he over sleep? How are we going to explain this to the promoters? Is he ok? Is he having car troubles somewhere and can’t call anyone? What if the worst has happened? I’m stuck in this traffic jam, I literally feel helpless. Who can I call to check on him? Where was the last time someone saw him? Etc., etc., etc.

Sunday afternoon I-70 gridlock really helps the wheels spin in place – physically, emotionally and mentally (see what I did there?? Ha!). Thankfully, the aftermath worked out perfectly fine, so I can joke about it.

In the moment, I was immediately removed from a space where I could provide the necessary support that Jess needed to keep the rage from boiling to a tipping point. And in turn, I knew that expressing any concerns, worries or annoyances that I had would fall unheard as well.

Luckily for both of us, we each knew we had a choice in the matter.

We could have ignored how the other was feeling/dealing with and said everything we each needed to say regardless. Which would lead to anger and frustration because neither one of us would feel supported and heard in the way that we needed to be heard. Which then leads to redirecting the frenetic energy that each of us is carrying towards one another. Which only creates more negative energy and causes a complete breakdown in our communication in the moment.

But we chose the alternative.

Awareness. And by being present in the moment, we each knew that we were going to be on our own for a bit. Not forever… because of course there would come a time when we did have the spaciousness in our minds to accommodate the other… but for a short time, we just had to process it on our own.

Maybe it doesn’t always go this seamlessly. Sometimes one of us won’t wait until it’s a good time to ask for support.

The important thing is that we recognize that it’s a process, and it’s something we’re extremely conscious and proud of. We are aware that mutually, we create a strong give-and-take partnership. We constantly become more mindful of whether or not the other is in a space to provide the support we may need in the moment. Because ultimately, I know if I start to express something that she’s not ready to respond to, I’m not going to get the comforting return that I may think I need in the moment. And vice versa. Sometimes it’s just worth waiting, processing on your own. And by waiting, you’ll be able to get the loving response you may be in need of.

Just something to think about….